LARRY FLYNT PUB
"Barefoot Confidential #01"
Starring:
Timber,
Michael J. Cox,
Brittany Andrews,
Avalon,
and Roxanne Hall
Directed By
Mark Archer
Reviewed By
Dave Michaels
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This isn't going to be my normal type of review, because this isn't your normal type of porn tape. This isn't my regular cup of tea to watch, but…it is very different. Because of this uniqueness, I was fascinated by watching the tape and had to tell somebody about it.
FOOT FREAKS,
LISTEN UP!
THIS TAPE IS FOR YOU!
I could never get into feet, because everyone, guys and girls, that I've every know, had some kind of fungus growing on their toes, so the thought of someone getting off on sucking toes has always made me "toss my cookies". But, there are freaks out there, who love those feet. Everything about it. I don't get it, but you will frigging love this tape.
The tape is divided into three vignettes telling of foot perversions. I will review each segment…but be warned. This isn't for the squeamish.
The first segment is titled, "Foot Patrol", and has one of my favorite newcomers in the biz, Timber. I gave her the "Talking Blue Balls" Award awhile back for her performance in another film, and this one is just as wild. She's a girl who likes to drive barefooted. While driving her car down a busy highway with her feet and diddling her clit with her free hand, she is pulled over by a cop. The cop is a foot freak, and one look at our lovely transgressors feet, drives our man of the law to acts of unlawful carnal knowledge.
After taking her prints, foot prints that is, he gets our lady to the backseat of her car to test out his nightstick. He then has Timber "jack him off" with her feet. Man, now I know why these guys complain of jock itch so much in the business. He then comes all over her feet as it drips into her waiting mouth. After I blew chunks, I watched the second scene.
The next vignette is titled, "Lord Of The Ring". A wacko has a magic mood ring that makes any woman do as he says. The victim in this story is Talking Blue TV's very own reporter, Brittany Andrews. He stalks her in a parking lot and gets her to wear the ring. All is lost, as she does his every whim. She pleads for him to release her from this power because, "she has a fiancée". Too bad for Brittany, as she is told to strip and do all kinds of nasty nude foot poses for our narrative deviant. She ends up using a vibrator on herself, till she squeals like a pig. Our ringmaster finally lets her go and is off to find another victim.
The last segment was not only the most disgusting thing I've seen so far in adult videos, but strangely quite erotic. I will flog myself after writing this review, so read on. The third installment into this trilogy of podiatry was titled, "As The Worm Turns". The title says it all, so don't be surprised when I get to the juicy parts.
A disturbed young woman is having nightmares of being covered in worms, and goes to her shrink for help. She suggests she needs to deal with her fears straight on, and proceeds to bring out a bucket of the creepy nightcrawlers. Now, I don't know if this really is the best treatment for our young heroine, but the shrink thinks so, and proceeds to show her there is nothing wrong with sticking your bare feet in a bucket of slimy invertebrate. The thing that's really disturbing, is that she, Avalon the Shrink, proceeds to squash worms with her bare feet! This is disgusting. The say at the end of the video, with a disclaimer, that only a few worms were destroyed during the filming of the video, and the rest were set free in Rob Black's backyard. Now I tell you, which is worst. Being crushed by a bare foot, or waiting to see what Rob Black does to you later.
The girls then clean each other's feet up as best as they can, and then starting licking each other toes!!! After ruining another pair of my favorite sneakers, I continued to watch this car accident of a video unravel. Now mind you, I am totally hot for this girl Avalon. She is so fine, I couldn't believe I was watching her do this things with her feet. So when Roxanne Hall fist fucks Avalon, it was a awesome sight to behold. And Roxanne doesn't stop there. She proceeds to put both hands up in Avalon's glorious fuck hole, and work her hands in and out, like some flesh-covered jackhammer. It was a sight to behold.
Would I recommend this title to rent or buy? Why not. Just for the sheer spectacle of it, it is worth seeing something completely different. Now I know you are saying, "Dave, you are full of shit about what you saw". All I can say is see it for yourself. If this is your cup of tea, go to their web-site to see even more, and then rent the tape to see for yourself.
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